Seriously? SERIOUSLY!

I do not know whether to laugh or cry. Whether to applaud or barf. 8 babies.... count em.... EIGHT. AND another 6 all under the age of 8. Its a litter of pups! How can one person care for so many hungry mouths adequately?

I guess money can buy you happiness. Or babies. Personally, I'd have been content with one.

On the other side of infertility I want to say, "You GO girl!" I want to send flowers and praises to a woman who loves children, loves having them and mothering them, and who, being single, just damns the torpedoes and goes full steam ahead. That's chutzpah! That's a lady with a dream, and backbone enough to make it happen. That is one human being with a lot of love to give ( or a big need for unconditional love, because lets face it, the only real unconditional love, comes from the Creator - who knows everything - and little babies - who can hardly know any better.) Still, here is a person who dared to make a family, in her desired image, and that is really something. I respect that. But something in my stomach is turning. 8. (Well 14 now) Will they get all the care they need? Will there be enough of their mother left over to actually have anything to give at the end of the day? (How can she afford it... though looking at her face, and the obviously extensive plastic surgery she's had - poor thing- she clearly has money)...Is it jealousy? Or old age? Am I becoming conservative and judgmental in my middle age? Or am I just sensing a boundary between what is possible and what is reasonable? And who the hell am I to say anyway?!


I smell a reality show coming on.Yegads.

I am one of the most liberal minded people I know. But seriously!

What do YOU think?

Raining Dogs and Kittens...

This time I've completely lost my mind. Having heard, late last week that the local SPCA just took in two tiny kittens, I called, went by to get an application form, picked up two donation tins for the store tills, saw the babies, fell in love, had an argument with B who thinks two is excessive (and he's right) but I fell in love in the way I did with Zeus. In a weird, not being able to sleep, obsessing about it kind of way. I'm not sure that is healthy... Today I went by again to drop off the form and now there are three. Obviously I'm not that cracked up, but now I'm wracked with doubt about taking two.

My gods they are cute. It was the dark tortoise-shell, with the strawberry blond eyelashes who spoke to me, as her orange fuzz-ball brother was snoozing and I didnt want to wake him when I first saw them. Today they were all three awake and bopping around, using their liter box (good babies!) and generally being devastatingly adorable, even if they all needed a bath. I stroked and held each one. Little Ginger boy was the most affectionate, purring like a machine, his soot coloured sister the most aggressive and bold, and little turtle was gentle, soft and curious. She likes having her head rubbed in exactly the same way Tashy did. Their eyes are still blue. It will be a few weeks before they can come home.

What to do?

I've been depressed. I've been sick for a long time, not genuinely sick as in something to really be worried about but just ill off and on which has made me depressed. Am I looking for comfort to fill a hole in my life? I mean, seriously, who really needs 8 pets?

And yet the other side of the coin, as I try to sift through my feelings with a fine tooth laser is that I've been feeling less and less grief about not having children. I think I've let go. I'm in a place of acceptance. Or so I thought. Is this sudden desire to expand the menagerie a way of dealing with that? On the other other hand I feel a rightness when I feel into these kittens, and I can see them here, feel them here already. My doubt may spring from another financial commitment I am taking on for the next, potentially, two decades, but I am mindful of how small my world has become. How I dont expand. How I dont give myself what I need, and maybe, just maybe its time to do that. I havent had a baby in the house since Zeus was a puppy and that was 7 years ago. Old Tashy was the last time I had a tiny kitten.

I guess I do need a baby after all. What matter if he/she/they are four footed!

In other domestic news, B went off island and exchanged the super-duper vacuum cleaner. Lets hope this one works. We're going to need it!

Go on, comment! Tell me just how crazy I am.

Phew!

Earthquake alert has passed. A new experience for me. I must say I didn't much care for it.