Dreaming of match-making.....

Recovering from another day off, during which I did a lot of not much. Chopped kindling, fought with the wood stove for a bit before it conceded that providing me with a glowing fire and preventing me from freezing to death in my own home was its actual purpose. Seems I've lost my fire starting touch. But in the end, I slew the beast, and made fire. I am Tom Hanks, Wilson.... see me roar!

So I didn't do the house cleaning blitz I intended to do, or the grouting of the bathroom floor which has been waiting for nigh-on two and 1/2 years (what's one more week?!) Neither the last window in the bedroom which is still naked and sans trim work. Nor the last of the trim work in the studio, which continues to be lonely, although I did transfer some boxes of broken crockery into it for future mosaic making. The list is endless. I had a lazy day. I sat on my butt a lot. Tidied the living room, did a few dishes, made the bed, and then thought: whatever. Tomorrow ... tomorrow I can do productive things before I go back to work on Wednesday. Meanwhile, lets see what Sam and Jason are up to on General Hospital..... :) Not to mention that oh-so-perfect Elizabeth.

I'm actually beginning to love my job. Have I mentioned this yet? Learning curve is sloping to a more gentle pitch. For the first time since moving to the Island, I feel as though I am part of the community. Right at the hub of it all. Everyone and their dog (or their dog's dog, in quite a few cases - and we love dogs, and give them treats) comes to our store, which sells everything from hardware, to boating supplies, linens, sporting equipment to paint, furniture to microwave ovens, plumbing and heating to pet supplies and electronics. A real old fashioned General Store. We sell almost everything and almost everyone comes in at some point or another. I am amazed by how many people I know, and how much the job is actually about people and making them happy. Which I love. If everyone who comes through my till leaves with a smile, I've done my job, and I'm happy. So far, I seem to be doing well at that.

The old me who used to teach, and who was great with people is coming back out of her shell. And I like her. She feels good in my skin, and is glad to be back. :) She is the one with confidence who flirts with everyone from the cradle to the grave. I have my favourites, and they know who they are, and if the occcasional nasty old drunkard comes through, or embittered cow who does nothing but complain, I say with and acerbic tone which only a descendant from Austrians can muster, "I'm sure they will be able to help you at the service desk....over THERE!" I.e, dont talk to me like that and piss off, thank you, and have a nice day....

The fellow who was giving me attitude and the cold shoulder the other day made a turn-around and showered me with Bonhomie the following day, going out of his way to be helpful and friendly. Strange man. I cant help but like him. I like most everyone, actually, and its all good.

We have more snow coming and for those of you in North America - on the east coast, and most of you in between - just put your fingers in your ears and say, "La-la-la-la...I cant hear you", for a bit while I whine. I left Ontario for a number of reasons, and winter was one of them. While we have a winter season which is so gentle as to be laughable to most of you, I am sure, I have been able to enjoy the snow we've had, because it tends to go away. Not so much this winter.

We have snow coming tonight, they say. And a wind storm. Enough already.

The good news is that my brother's ex, who has morphed into his 'best friend' (with benefits, and frankly, kids, I don't wanna know! Do they think this information makes things easier for me ?!?) and with whom, and her family, he spent his Christmas holiday, has come for a visit. He left right after Christmas and they did a Russian timing thing, her ancestors having come from the old country, and he's been back a week, and has asked her to come and stay for a while. Yay! I'm not going to make any wise-cracks like I did last time (like, "Oh, just get yourself with child, already, woman!" I was drunk). WHAT are they playing at? They obviously cant bear to be apart for long, cant seem to get on with their lives apart.... Ugh. I just wish they'd slip off and make me an auntie so we can all breathe a collective sigh of relief and start planning a wedding. Not that they'd allow that, they'd fight tooth and nail, probably for years, and by the time the child entered school, maybe they'd come round, the fact of the forgone conclusion being utterly lost on them.

A girl can dream, can she? Gods, I love them.. silly, obstreperous, stubborn, contrary children that they are. Don't they know that Love doesn't grow on trees?! Don't they know that if you find it, you nurture it, hang on to it, make it your first priority in life and make everything else curve around it so that is stays, protected and whole. Because it doesn't happen every day. A love like that. You cant take it for granted, ever. And speaking of which, just so you know, every morning I wake up, no matter how bad my life is, I have a bubble of happiness inside me when I hear B making coffee. I thank my lucky stars every single day of my life for having been blessed with this man, for having the Love we share. I am grateful every day. When I slip slowly from dreamland to wakefulness, I feel my chest expand, my heart open as I hear him puttering around, or feel him lying beside me, still heavy in sleep, his body a warm weight beside me, radiating heat as only a man's body does, inhaling his smell, that warm man smell of HIM, and that singular and unique sense of safe contentment washes over me, saying, 'we are here, together, and It Is Good'....Meanwhile, the cats begin to stir, making 'I want my breakfast" noises.....

That wonderful man, who tells me tonight, he's hilarious, that he's going to teach me to drive standard, in the dark, with snow clouds looming, on the way to dinner...right. Have I told you recently that he drives me nuts? And I love him. Impractical dreamer, who makes his impractical dreams a concrete reality. He makes me a person who tries to be a better person, and every now and then we, together, succeed. We're muddling through, we are, and it is okay.....



We are going over to my brother's for dinner tonight, in a hour, so I'd better finish this and get ready. I cant wait to see her.

I have loved her since she was in utero (this gets a bit strange...). I was actually the one who named her. Our families have been friends since I was a baby. Her older sister and I, who are of an age, shared a crib when we were tiny. And when the new baby was one the way, ten years later (my brother's 'best friend'), I was the one who suggested her name. We all grew up together, sort of like cousins, which makes their relationship oddly incestuous, in a way. It isn't that they were childhood sweethearts or anything. In fact, her sister and I did everything we could to keep them apart, seeing the sparks between them for years and thinking they'd be a disaster just waiting to happen. It was inevitable. Karmic. That was nearly 6 years ago.... and the rest is history as they say.

I cant wait to see them together. They are SO cute. They are so lovely as a couple I just want to smack them upside the head and tell them to get on with it, but they are working things through in their own way... And I have to work with what's right for them, no matter what I think. I just want them to be happy. I just want them to be happy and wish they could do that together. It could happen....

As I said....I can hope, and dream....

I will try soon to figure out how to post some photos of the dogs, with the DT's helpful hints.

Ninight, my Chickadees. Hope all's well with all of you.